Voynichologically, a few minor typos ("Athansius", "Kirchner", "Baresche", etc), but it's basically all there. Yet to my jaded eyes it reads like a brandname-laden faux-noir short story and a Wikipedia article whose pages have all been shuffled together, not unlike Herbal A and Herbal B.
Turning the whole Big Jim/UFO/Voynich link on its head (as the remainder of the story undoubtedly does) is a nice idea: but writing Voynich fiction is a desperately hard balancing act, and I can't help but feel the attempt to shoehorn plot and history into a short story needs a lighter touch than this.
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