David Icke and the Voynich...

Note: this article has now moved to david-icke-and-the-voynich on Cipher Mysteries

I suppose it was glumly inevitable that the world's favourite anti-reptilian ex-goalkeeper David Icke would have included the Voynich Manuscript in "The Biggest Secret" (1999), now freely downloadable from scribd.com. Which is nice.

Much as you'd expect, many of the strands of the mainstream story get picked out and respun into a distinctly paranoia-flavoured fabric. For example, "John Dee was the Queen’s astrologer, a Rosicrucian Grand Master, a black magician, and a secret agent for the new intelligence network": he and Edward Kelley were talking not with angels but "reptilians". Oh, and Rudolph II was "of the reptilian Habsburg dynasty, another occultist."

Hmmm: I feel another semantically irregular verb coming on:-

• I am a visionary, a singularity within a vortex of eternal chaos
• You (singular) are badly compromised, but might be redeemed if you buy my book
• He/she is reptilian. Oh, and did I mention he/she is reptilian?
• We are freedom fighters against the infinite evil of The Brotherhood
• You (plural) are corrupted by prolonged exposure to reptilian media lies and hype
• They are part of a reptilian dynasty/network/conspiracy that spans the ages

Once you get the hang of how it works, Icke's stuff almost writes itself. What is he going to say about the Voynich Manuscript? Easy: just take the most superficial reading you can (Newbold's snail, etc), reptilify it, and summarize it thus:-

"This manuscript is just one example of the level of knowledge the
Brotherhood were working with hundreds of years ago while their other wing, the
religions, were keeping the masses in the most basic ignorance."

And now someone has posted on David Icke's online forum, claiming to be a senior member of the Illuminati (though to me it reads more like a publisher PR hack having a bit of fun at Icke-fandom's expense):-

"Let me just say to you that we tried twice in the past to show a coded glimpse of the nature of our great secret. You have probably heard of the most mysterious manuscript in the world – the Voynich manuscript. No one has ever been able to decode it. The men who wrote it were members of the Illuminati and they were captured and killed before they could release the key to decoding it. The Arthurian legends were our other main attempt to enter popular consciousness and reveal our true purpose. They succeeded to an extent, but our enemies were able to confuse our message by releasing alternative versions of the legends. So, now we are trying again."

Yeah, rrrright.

Bizarrely, the title of the (probably as-yet-unfinished) book being puffed ("The Soul Camera") is the same name as an odd camera that has just been released in Japan by Sonaco, that apparently photographs your "aura" in some way. As always, the world is far stranger than conspiracy theorists think - but in a completely different way.